Beautiful Moments

So the bio mom is supposed to start PCIT (Parent-Child Interaction Therapy) classes with the two girls this Saturday. This was a decision made at the last court hearing. I was supposed to get a call from the medical facility providing the classes because apparently I have to be there for the first few minutes of the first 5 classes. Oh boy! This means that the baby and Primero will have to entertain themselves while I observe the class (luckily, Primero is good at entertaining the baby, so this shouldn’t be a problem), since they are not involved. From a cursory google search, this seems like a good thing for the girls and their bio mom to be doing – it might even be a good thing for me and the grandmother (or whoever will end up taking care of the older sister – my understanding is that the 30 days from the 30 day notice was up yesterday, but the same foster mom was at the visit Tuesday night, so I don’t know, maybe they rescinded the 30 days’ notice….) to attend similar trainings to help the girls. I think the classes would be helpful because my understanding is that the visits are not great with the girls and their bio mom and I know the little one I have has expressed a lot of anger towards her bio mom. When I finally spoke with the treatment coordinator, she said that bio mom was not really interested in the therapy, she was just looking for reunification, and she refused to have either foster mom present for the therapy. So, now I just have to drag three kids into town for an hour long therapy session. I’m not so anxious about losing some of my Saturday mornings to these classes, but that cannot be helped. I don’t know how long they are supposed to last, but it’s part and parcel for the foster care system.

In other news, Hermano’s previous foster mom called me two nights ago. She said Hermano had called her asking if he could come back to her house and she was trying to get in touch with him but his phone wasn’t working. Oddly enough, I had sent him a message on Facebook messenger earlier in the day just letting him know I was thinking about him and wanted to be sure he was getting settled. I sent him another message letting him know his foster mom had contacted me and he responded that his phone had been shut off but he would text her when he could. I asked again if he was ok and offered to help in any way  I could. He had not been in contact with me or Primero for some time. He did end up talking to me a bit through messenger, stating he needed a job. I offered to help, since my day job is helping people who are looking for work. I offered some advice and suggestions on job hunting and places for a teenager to go. Honestly, I don’t see him as being too driven or overly motivated. I don’t know that I would hire him or fear he wouldn’t want to put forth the effort or that he would just get bored with “work” and move on. Still, I feel bad for him, but he made the choice to move back to town to be closer to his “family.” From what it sounds like from his previous foster mother, he will most likely not be permitted to return to her because it seems her agency is washing their hands of him due to the trouble he caused. His saga continues.

I wish I could show pictures of some of the beautiful moments in my life, moments that are etched indelibly in my mind’s eye. Moments like when Primero is stooped over the baby and he reaches up with both hands, one on either cheek, and he smiles as they stare at one another their noses inches away. It makes my heart melt to see them together this way. I love when the baby wakes up on the weekend and he’s not crying but just lying in his bassinet cooing to himself quietly until I can’t stand the cuteness and have to get up and cuddle with him (he really needs to start sleeping in the crib Primero and I put together in the little girl’s room, but it’s so hard to think he’d be so far away that I wouldn’t hear his sweet little morning babbles). And I just love when he cuddles with me. When I pick him up and old him and he just lays his head on my shoulder, his little arm around my neck and we just “be” together. I love when the little girl climbs on my lap to watch TV and snuggle together. I love when she insists we pray together at night before she goes to bed, after reading her book. Her sassiness is something that I both love and hate because it makes me laugh but also makes her defiant. I struggle the most with the little girl and this is partly because the boys take up so much of my time in one form or another. I had the revelation today that I should plan a girls day out with just me and the little girl (and maybe a friend). We could paint our nails, go to lunch, and maybe the playground. She’s too little to do the grown up girl things, like shop and pedicures, so I need to really think this through so she has fun but also so we can bond a little more over the activities. Primero demands he and I do this once a month, so I think I should do the same for the little girl. The baby gets plenty of my attention, so at this point I don’t think he needs a whole day with me by himself. I know growing up, my parents would take each of us out with just the two of them when it was our birthday’s. It was a way to make us feel special, to celebrate our birthdays, but also to have alone time with all mom and dad’s attention on us, even if it was just for a few hours. I really liked that tradition and I would like to start that with these kids, especially since they only have one parent (well, one foster/adoptive parent).

The struggles I have (other than my less-than stellar housekeeping) are mornings, getting up and getting us out the door on time is a daily battle, and picking Primero up after his evening Glee/Pride programs three days a week. The baby is sleeping better, so you would think I could manage to get my tuckus up in time to have breakfast and get myself and the two little ones ready to go. But, I’m such a night owl that I don’t always go to bed when I should and then I’m lethargic in the morning and hit the snooze button a few too many times. I feel like this will be a life-long battle for me – I mean let’s be honest here, even without kids I’m rushing out the door to get to work on time. I’m just not a morning person and I take too long to get ready. If only I could win the lottery and skip mornings all together! The issue of having to pick Primero up at night is two-fold; one, I hate leaving my house again after getting home and doing the evening chores and getting settled and two, it’s a bother for the little girl since she doesn’t get to bed as early as she should. And poor Primero, I lose my mind if he’s not out the door and in the car on time (like Tuesday, when I waited in the car an hour as the kids had a visit, then went to training, waited in the car again with two kids for another 45 minutes and he came out 8 minutes late – I was livid!). I need to get a better attitude about it because he loves these programs and they are good for him (I think, although I worry that they take so much of his time and energy that he refuses to devote to his schoolwork…). Still, it sucks having to traipse out in the freezing cold with two kids three nights a week. It’s one of those moments when I wish I had a partner to do some of the leg work. I seriously doubt that will happen. But, let’s leave that pity part for another time, eh?