Coup de Grâce

Yesterday the case worker was over to visit with all the kids. Primero was there due to being grounded and so we explained that situation and the case worker helped him to see why he needed to at least let me know he was ok. I think he got over the whole thing after that. We then talked about the little ones, more specifically Chica Marie. The case worker mentioned that the county case worker is trying to reduce the visits the children have with their bio mom since things are now moving towards adoption. She said they were trying to make the visits once bi-weekly rather than twice every week. I asked about discontinuing the Saturday therapy sessions and she said she would ask about that, since bio mom treats them like visits rather than therapy. I brought up Love Bug’s first birthday and the case worker said to definitely not invite the bio mom. She said it would be ok to invite the grandmother because there have never been any problems with her, but she sort of questioned why I would want to since the grandmother hasn’t made plans to see the children since early January. I could see her point, but I also think it would be nice to have the grandmother there so we could try to keep in touch with her as the adoption moves forward. I was kind of shocked that the case worker seemed to write the grandmother off, rather than try to encourage me to help build that relationship. She really supports and encourages contact with Primero’s family. Maybe she feels it’s different because the children are much younger than Primero, I don’t know. She seemed to think it was a good idea to have the older sister be invited to the party. I hope the other foster family is receptive to attending. If not, I’ll have to see if the county would let my keep her over-night so I could just take her with us to the party. I think she would really like being there and I think she would be so, so up-set if we don’t include her. Again, as we move towards adoption it’s important to try to keep some connection for the little ones, especially the girls who seem to miss living with one another. I feel like a lot of this is on me to do, which I understand to a certain extent, but I find it hard to believe that the CHOR or county case worker haven’t talked to me more about why it might be important to keep a connection for the little ones. Love Bug is too young to remember his older sister, so if I don’t keep in touch with the family that adopts her, he might never know her. Chica Marie will remember her sister and would miss the connection if I don’t make a point in keeping track of where their sister ends up. I just hope the adoptive family will be as willing to stay in touch as I am.

I had sent a message to Hermano asking him if he was invited to the birthday party on Saturday and if he needed a ride to and from. He never responded to me. Yesterday, after picking Primero up at the respite home, I drove the few blocks to the daycare. En route we noticed a familiar figure crossing the street. It was Hermano. He hopped in the car and asked if I would take him to his friend’s house. I agreed and left them in the car to pick up the little ones. We dropped Hermano off on our way home to meet with the CHOR case worker. Hermano has moved to a different foster home again. He had an issue with his previous foster father and so he’s now in his fourth foster home. I feel bad for him. I sense that the county is just going to let him age out of the system and he’ll be right back into the muck and mire he had been into previously. I see Hermano going the same route as their mother and it’s such a shame.

Last night as I was watching TV with Primero I received an email telling me his bio mom was back in jail. I let Primero know and his only response was, “Wow, really?” He told me this morning his brother had planned to visit with their mom after spending time with his friend yesterday afternoon. I feel bad for his brother because it seems like their mom is now doing the same thing to Hermano that she did to Primero. I mean, I suppose there is some validation for Primero, knowing that his bio mom isn’t favoring his brother, but mostly it’s just a sad, sad situation. I guessing this means their mom won’t be at the party on Saturday. I can’t say I’m torn up about that, but still I know how much Primero looks forward to seeing her and spending time with her. I hope his younger sisters will be there. I feel like they are not generally included in family gatherings and that’s sad. Primero and I have plans to take one of his younger sisters along with us to another Ariana Grande concert in Hershey this summer. She so wanted to go to the one we attended in Philly, but we had already bought tickets. I hope her guardian will allow us to take her along, if not Primero has plans to invite his friend who is a foster kid with another foster family we know. Her younger sisters are being adopted and she hopes the adoptive family will consider doing PLC for her so they can be together. If this happens before the concert, it might be tough to take her along. I guess we’ll just figure it all out when the time comes.

I received my first stings from my honey bees this year. I was in a hurry trying to feed the bees on Wednesday since my dad was holding Love Bug and he was being fussy. I didn’t take my smoker and almost as soon as I opened the lid to my meaner hive, I was stung. Then, as a coup de grâce, the same hive stung me in the rear end when I was walking to the second, nicer hive, to feed them. I’ve spent most of my time at work trying to keep my mind off how bad the stings itch. I put tea tree oil on them to help soothe the stings, but other than that there is very little I can do but wait it out. I know there will be more times this summer that I will endure bee stings, it just comes with the territory. Although, I hope this is my one and only sting on the ass…….