Thursday, November 12, 2015

Slight Chance

Yesterday the CHOR adoption case worker hand delivered the adoption paperwork to the lawyer. She called and left a message for me stating the office told her that, if I can return the paperwork I must sign quickly, there is a slight chance the adoption can be finalized this month! What?! That’s crazy! And wonderful! She said there is also the chance it could be finalized next month, so I’m really hoping things can be done before the end of the year. When I told Primero his response was, “OMG! Thank God!” He’s very anxious to get through with finalization and just live life like a “normal” kid. He is also very anxious to get his driver’s license and we will need his new birth certificate for that. For my part, I plan to sign the paperwork and return it the same day I receive it. I don’t want to dawdle with this! I’m just so anxious to have a date, a specific, solid date when one chapter (foster care) closes and another chapter (forever family) begins.

During the last post I wrote about Primero wanting to see his mom, or well her asking to see him since that was how he expressed it to me. He was supposed to talk to her Tuesday afternoon and try to flesh-out how she envisioned the visit to happen, when, where, with whom – that sort of thing. I suggested he tell her to call me so we could chat about it. It turns out he never talked to her. I thought for sure she would want to arrange something for this coming weekend, but Primero said she never text him to call her, so he didn’t talk to her at all. So who knows when this visit will actually happen? I find this very frustrating, how she pops in and out of Primero’s life at whim and how he accepts it hook, line and sinker. This is the first time she has asked for a visit with him and not just asked him to show up at a previously arranged event she was attending. The last time he saw her was in September when she was in town for his younger sister’s birthday and she put a message on Facebook that she would be at the city park, then called him to meet her at a local fast food restaurant. And, even though it was an inconvenience and I was thoroughly annoyed at him for flip-flopping and at first deciding he wouldn’t go, then asking to see her when she called, we went and saw her briefly. I don’t know what she had in mind for this visit, if she thought I would just drive him to see her or what, but I’m not going to worry about it anymore. If Primero asks me again I will ask him the same questions of where, when, and with whom (meaning with little kids or sans little kids). I don’t think I’m asking for too much in hoping to have these questions answered before committing to a plan.

Hermano moved into his new foster home on Monday. According to Esperanza, he is one of two kids in the home and the other child is a 14 month old baby girl. Apparently his girlfriend bought him a cell phone now that he’s out of the inpatient facility where he had been staying. Everyone is holding their breath and hoping he won’t mess this placement up and get sent back to the facility or worse. The rumor about him fathering a child over the summer has still not been answered, but I haven’t heard anything further from the county case worker so who knows. Hermano was already asking when he would visit with us, so we will have to see about arranging a visit soon. I don’t know if the county wants him to settle in for a period of time before beginning the visits.

After giving it a lot of thought and second guessing myself every step of the way, I bought Primero a small box of condoms over the weekend. I told him I hoped he would not feel the need to rush out and use them, but that I wanted him to be protected if he did decide to have sex. And I begged him to be extra careful with his girlfriend because I would lose my mind if he got her pregnant. He was rather annoyed that I actually bought him condoms, stating he’s not having sex anytime soon, but well we all know how that goes don’t we? I did tell him that I believe, if he feels he is old enough and responsible enough to have sex then he should also be old enough and responsible enough to buy his own condoms. Again, we know how that goes! So, at least I’ve tried to make sure he is protected but I sincerely hope he waits a little while longer before becoming sexually active.

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