Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

The county case worker recently contacted me and our CHOR case worker regarding the potential separate adoption of Chica Marie and Love Bug.

 

Foster Mom and CHOR Case Worker,

 

Just wanted to check in and hear both of your thoughts on finalizing Love Bug’s adoption sooner, or waiting to do them both at the same time? If we were to finalize Love Bug’s adoption first, I would suggest waiting to celebrate both at the time of Chica Marie’s adoption, or we could wait and do them both at the same time. Let me know your thoughts! 

County Case Worker

 

I had written about my conflicted opinions is a pro’s and con’s list here . Thanks to some kind feedback, I was able to see things differently, but the whole thing still doesn’t sit well with me. My preference is having the children be adopted together. But, if the county is going to push for Love Bug to go now and Chica Marie later, I’m telling Chica Marie. This is not going to be some secret, some hidden thing that only becomes a bigger issue because it is kept hush-hush. And so, this is what I told the county case worker.

 

Hi County Case Worker  and CHOR Case Worker –

 

   I have batted this idea around in my head a lot and have looked at it from various angels. At first, I was conflicted about doing their adoptions separately, it just wasn’t something I had considered; I always assumed they would be adopted together. Not that I wanted to make Love Bug wait any longer, but I was concerned about finalizing Love Bug’s adoption without Chica Marie because I worried how it might affect her, how she might perceive it. I thought of a zillion what-if scenarios of her finding out about his adoption in the near future or when they were grown up and it finally dawned on me. While I was sad to think of their adoptions happening separately, it was feeling like I was lying to Chica Marie and keeping something from her that was really at the heart of the matter. I worry about how detrimental it would be to our relationship if Chica Marie knew I kept something this big from her. So, if you decide to proceed with Love Bug’s adoption while waiting on Chica Marie’s adoption, I acquiesce to the decision with the caveat that Chica Marie know about Love Bug’s adoption and is allowed to process whatever feelings she may have about it. I liken it to having separate birthdays; her birthday is in December, Love Bug in June and so their adoption days can be different as well. I’m hoping this will be understandable to her, but at the very least she isn’t being lied to and having to find out (because she will find out one way or another) and deal with that extra baggage.
Foster Mom

 

Our CHOR case worker is out of the office until next week because she is getting married, so she won’t be responding until then. I get the sense that CHOR is going to push for Love Bug’s adoption to happen sooner rather than later. I hope what I said makes sense and doesn’t create any waves because I’m not interested in rocking the boat, at all. But, I am honest and so I wanted to express how it is still a conflicted thing for me, but ultimately I am going to be ok with whatever the county decides to do. I’m not sure what the county would want to see for Chica Marie to be adopted. I feel like I have certainly shown my dedication through all that has happened.