From bad to waaaaaaay waaaaaay worse

     So. My last blog was not a pleasant one. I wish I could say things got better from there. Well, they did but first they got a lot worse. Catastrophic, in fact. I won't bore you with all the dirty details, but it was uuuuggg-ah-lee. Basically, Flaco walked out on me. He came back, but not after a night apart. A sleepless night, I might add. Through careful negotiations, I got Flaco to agree to get some counseling with the pastor from the church I attend. The pastor speaks English and Spanish and is originally from Puerto Rico. This is a huge step in the right direction. We have decided to put a hold on trying to have a baby so we can fix these numerous issues in our relationship. I hate to do it, but it makes sense right now. We agreed to reevaluate each month, if we would like to actively try. In the midst of this insanity, Aunt Flo shows up, with very painful cramps. Just what I needed to confirm that life sucks at the moment. I feel so empty. I feel like every last fiber of myself has been drained away and I am left with a functioning body but nothing else. No heart, no feeling, no dreams, no nothing. I need find all of these pieces of me and figure out how to reassemble them. But, I can only do parts of it. Flaco needs to be willing to help fix this hot mess. This is a hidden twist in the plot. I guess we shall have to keep putting one foot in front of the other to see where this twist takes us. Stay tuned.