New Therapy

Yesterday at work I assisted a deaf man in creating a profile on our state website and developing a resume to use for job searching. The appointment was prearranged so I could have an interpreter there since I don’t know much sign language (I can finger spell say “no” “yes” “I’m sorry” “My name is” “girl” “boy” and that’s about it!). Now, I have acted as an interpreter for customers who speak Spanish and I have used a telephonic translator with customer’s who spoke Vietnamese, but I’ve never worked with an ASL translator. I wanted to do everything right and by that I mean I wanted to interact as if there wasn’t a translator there. But, a few things tripped me up. First of all, the customer was never really talking to me. And what I mean is, unlike when I’ve experienced translation through verbal communication, the customer never really looked at me when he was talking or when I was responding. He had to look at the interpreter. This was partially compounded by my cubical arrangement, but it led to some confusion, especially when his wife would chime in but I had no idea she was “talking.” The translator was professional but curt when I made a few flubs of handing her a paper instead of the customer when she said something like “hand it to me” or “can I write it down for you?” I didn’t realize how much conversation we have with one another in small gestures, whether they be facial gestures, hand motions, or small noises that aren’t words but mean things. At least the customer was gracious when I miss-stepped and thankful for the help I provided. He had a good attitude that made things run more smoothly, I think. I think he could tell I was trying my hardest – at least I hope he could.

 

Sometimes when I’m interacting with someone with a visible disability I try to anticipate what I need to do and just make a mess of things in the process. In contrast to my meeting with the deaf gentleman, I discovered Chica Marie’s new mobile therapist has a visual disability. She came out last night to meet us for the first time and almost immediately I knew something was different because she almost walked through our screen door in the front of the house. When we sat down at the table I noticed her left eye was glazed over with a white film much like a thick cataract. When I tried to meet her gaze to initiate some non-verbal cues, her left eye would wander or roll and I so I tried to stop using the non-verbal cues because I wasn’t sure she would catch them. Ove the course of our meeting she mentioned a family genetic condition that affects eyesight. In my lame attempts to help, I feel like much of our communication was stunted because I was over-compensating and trying to fill-in what I thought she needed. I’m sure she caught on, but again, she was gracious enough to not call me out on it. I’m sure sometime in the future Chica Marie will ask about her eyes in her typical abrupt fashion and hopefully by then I will have stopped my ridiculousness and will be able to navigate that with her.

 

I did talk to the therapist about all of the issues, and I mean ALL of them. I had made myself a list so I wouldn’t forget anything. I even told her about the conversation with my family worker and how conflicted I have been feeling in regards to Chica Marie’s future. She was very understanding and didn’t feel it was fair for anyone to attach Love Bug’s security to Chica Maire in the way they have. Fair or not, that’s how it is. I confessed to the therapist that I’m in need of help and how I don’t feel as emotionally attached to Chica Marie as I do to Love Bug and Primero. She understood and explained the behaviors are between us like a buffer, preventing that close emotional connection like the one I have with the boys. She’s going to come out next week to try to get to know Chica Marie a little better by playing with her. She knows Chica Marie’s first therapist, the one she had such an attachment to, and somehow that makes me feel better. She was curious about why Theraplay didn’t work but didn’t seem be upset at my proclamation that it was useless because Chica Marie would simply not cooperate. She hopes she is able to help and was very curious as to why the daycare doesn’t use time out and how terribly ineffective that must be. I too hope she can help because I admitted that things haven’t been great for a little while with us. She said she was already brainstorming some ideas and would be ready to offer them to me next week. I don’t want to put too much stock into this new therapy being the catalyst for the big changes we need, but I don’t have any other choice, it’s all I have! So, here’s hoping the therapy can help me modify my parental approach to Chica Marie so our relationship can improve.