Patchwork Quilt

The holiday mayhem has passed and we are now going about getting back into our routine. I’ve added waking up 45 minutes earlier to my routine so I can work out. Blah. I don’t like waking up earlier, but I like knowing the work-out is done for the day and I don’t have to keep dreading it all day long. Hopefully, I can keep up with it! 

 

We had a really nice New Year’s eve together at home. Esperanza was over and Hermano was permitted to come over and spend the night. He was dropped off in the evening after visiting with his mom. We played Uno and sipped our sparkling cider while watching Dick Clark’s Rocking Eve celebration on the TV. When the ball in Times Square dropped we ran to the back of the house to watch the fireworks at the Pagoda from Chica Marie’s bedroom window. I put Chica Marie to bed and then we watched a movie until 2 am when I went to bed and Primero stayed up with Hermano until 4 am. I slept fitfully until 10 and woke everyone up by 11 so we could have brunch. Later in the day we went to the farm for pork and sauerkraut for our traditional New Year’s day dinner and then we took Hermano home. Hermano got a job at the local McDonalds, which is good. I hope he keeps the job and doesn’t flake out on it. He has a reputation for not taking things seriously, so I suspect he will do the same with this job.

 

Last week we got notification from the Recorder of Deeds office regarding the adoption of Primero. Unfortunately, his first name was still wrong on the paperwork. It’s crazy how two letters reversed in a name can make such a difference! I called the lawyer’s office this afternoon and they will send an amended decree to change the name, since they were the ones who miss-spelled his name on the form. This might affect the birth certificate, meaning it will take even longer for him to get his driver’s license, but it might be for the better so he can begin driving in the spring instead of winter-time. After many trials and errors, we did manage to get the forms sent off for Esperanza’s birth certificate, so hopefully that will be coming soon. Our goal is to get her a driver’s license before she graduates high school, so finger’s crossed that form comes soon!

 

The mobile therapist for Chica Marie has finally contacted me and plans to meet us on Thursday. I’m anxious for these services to begin because we need help – I need help desperately. I need to work on becoming more attached to Chica Marie and being a better mother to her than I’ve been. I struggle the most with her in a way I don’t with the boys. I always thought I would be closer to a daughter that we would have an immediate tight knit bond, but that has not been the case with Chica Marie. I need to work harder on creating the attachment and parenting her differently. I’m hoping the therapist can help!  

Last week Love Bug had an evaluation by a speech therapist. At this point in time she is not beginning services, but stated if he doesn’t improve in a few months she can come back and re-evaluate him. She gave some suggestions to his Occupational Therapist and me to help him and her greatest suggestion was to get him to stop sucking his finger, which I have not been successful in doing in the past. He sucks the pointer finger on his left hand and has it raw and sore because it is the only finger he likes. The speech therapist believes his pallet and teeth are beginning to form around that finger and really could affect his speech if not stopped. I need to see about getting a glove to strap on his hand because thus far things like black pepper, vinegar, and vanilla extract have not worked on curbing his appetite for that finger. This will be an up-hill battle for sure.

 

Esperanza sent me a text message this morning of a positive pregnancy test with “it’s official!” written below it. She said it was sent to Hermano by his girlfriend because she is pregnant. Ugh. There have been rumors and supposed pregnancies in the past (post), so the only surprise here is that this girl didn’t seem the type to get mixed up in his baby-making scheme. I’m sure Hermano is tickled pink about this, but that’s just because he is too immature to realize how his life will change with a baby. I’m mad for all the same reasons I mentioned in my previous post on this matter and I honestly hope it was a false positive or something because Hermano does not need to add fatherhood to his already very full plate. My worry now is that he will sign himself out of foster care when he turns 18 and not get his high school diploma, which would not put him on a path to being able to care for himself or his family. Esperanza said something along the lines of not being sure how to feel, angry or happy. As she said, it’s already been done, so I guess she feels since she couldn’t stop it she might as well be happy for them. I don’t quite see it that way and I worry about the retributions and repercussions from CYS once they find out. I’m trying to keep myself out it as much as possible, knowing I’m in it no matter what I do. 

 

For the first time ever, over the holiday’s I actually felt like I had my own family. I have always felt like we’re just a hodgepodge group smushed together but I finally see us more for our whole than our parts. I now see my family like a patchwork quilt – beautiful individual pieces sewn together to create a gorgeous work of art. And that’s what we are, a gorgeous work of art!