Love Hurts

It’s sad that the ones we love the most tend to be the ones who hurt us the worst. Sadly, that’s the down side to love – it can hurt! Love is a beautiful thing, it makes the world a better place. But, when someone learns love in a highly dysfunctional manner, they learn to use it as a weapon. Loving someone means letting them in, letting them see the sides of you that un-loved ones don’t see. Love means being vulnerable. And it is that vulnerability that opens you up to pain when the one you love gets angry or displeased with you. This is when they wield their love like a dangerous two edged sword and stab it deep into the softest part of you where they know it will hurt. This is the place where trust begins to crumble and, if nothing is done to right the wrongs, love begins to die. Before it happened to me, I never understood how someone could be so in love and marry another person only to become bitter, angry rivals when they separate and divorce. Now I understand that it was because the love they had become a weapon they used to slice one another to shreds.

 

Sadly, Primero is dealing with the pain of a loved one hurting him. To him, it registers as loss. It adds to the other losses he has experienced in his life and I think that cuts him deeper than the actual actions being done. Primero held in his heart a hope that his loved one would return to him and things would go back to how they used to be, but just last night he realized the truth – it won’t happen like that. He hurts that his loved one has chosen others over him and he feels pushed to the side – no that sounds too nice - roughly shoved out of the way, tossed to the curb like unwanted refuse. Primero has lived this before with a different loved one and it hurt to watch him go through it then, just as it hurts now. I know there is nothing I can do or say to fix the problem or ease his pain, so I just give him a big hug and tell him I love him. I wish there was more I could do, but really there isn’t. Primero is strong and he is wise beyond his years. He is resilient and resourceful and he knows he has several good people who will always have his back. He knows he is loved and cherished and I hope that will make a difference for him.