Monday, September 26, 2016

Speaking Up


Tomorrow is the last day of Primero’s in school suspension. (see the full story here) I am meeting with the head of the Special Education Department and his guidance counselor to talk about my concerns for him to graduate high school. I have a long list of questions I want to ask. Sadly, I also have a long list of questions for the disciplinary team. I heard some disturbing things from Primero and I can’t just let them go unchecked. I’m going to ask to speak to someone in charge regarding the treatment of students in ISS as well as some other issues regarding seemingly condoned physical abuse. I feel like I am walking a tightrope because on the one hand I want address some very serious concerns but on the other hand I don’t want to make Primero a scapegoat or have the school ask him to leave (it’s a charter school, so they could do that and he would then go back to the public high school, which is a nightmare). It’s sad that I have to worry about retaliation when addressing these concerns, but sadly I do. I lived through this on the other side, when my mom was the school board president and decided to homeschool my sister (rather than ask to have her moved to a different second grade class because they didn’t agree with the teacher’s teaching style – my mom didn’t want it to seem like she was getting favoritism because she was on the school board). My brother and I were mistreated by a few teachers in the school who didn’t approve of my mom’s politics or her decision to homeschool my sister. It was the catalyst to getting my brother and I homeschooled the following year, which for me was 8th grade. I never returned to public school but I did receive a diploma and went to college. So, I know how things could go for Primero and I wouldn’t want him to face those same issues. Still, I can’t let things go unchecked. If I don’t speak up, who will?

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5 comments:

  1. That is a really hard situation. How did the meeting go?

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    1. The meeting actually went pretty well. I met first with the IEP team to discuss his academics and then with the head of the disciplinary team. She listened to what I had to say and agreed two of my points were certainly something she would investigate. She thanked me for taking the time to speak to her, so I felt like she would handle things professionally. Thus far, it doesn't seem like there has been any retaliation towards Primero. Whew!

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  2. It's so hard to find that balancing act sometimes between speaking out, and protecting those we love from retaliation. It sounds like you managed it beautifully (according to your reply to Lollipop above), and I hope things will continue to improve for you and Primero from here on out.

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  3. It sounds from your response to Mel as though you did well at balancing all the factors and advocating for your son. I read back about the incident, and wow, such a difficult thing. I'm impressed with how you're handling it all.

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  4. I've had some issues with these "teams" too. You just have to hang in there. You're the best advocate he has (and maybe the only one.) Just yesterday, my son's teacher gave negative DOJO points (demerits) and wrote a scathing note to the parents about the kids' behavior. I wrote her directly and asked if this was a general message and asked her to please tell me specifically about my son's involvement. She said he wasn't involved in either situation. I would have punished a child for no reason if I hadn't opened my big mouth.

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