Three-day Weekend

This week has worn me out completely. It didn’t help being awakened by Love Bug screaming and flailing about at 4 am. And then I woke up before my alarm went off. I’m simply beat. I wish I could spend a day and a half in bed to recuperate, but that simply isn’t a possibility. The thing with being a mother is you are never off duty.

 

So, some good news. After the second meeting with Chica Marie’s school, they have agreed to let her attend the regular kindergarten class with a TSS worker starting after the holiday weekend. The meeting was rather intense, 10 adults squashed around a table deciding the fate of one little girl. The CHOR case worker came with an intern, the mobile therapist brought her supervisor, the managed care provided (insurance person) attended, the Vice Principal was there as well as the principal and the psychologist was called in to discuss the NORAP (I have no idea what that stands for). Also in attendance were the guidance counselor and one of the special education teachers who was filling in for the special ed teacher who was housing Chica Marie in her classroom. The county case worker participated by phone. The school was initially still trying to send Chica Marie to the emotional support classroom, but after discussing with the county case worker, my signature would not be legally valid on the NORAP form. It would require a court order or bio mom’s signature. The school did ask for a court order so the NORAP referral could proceed, should it be needed, but TSS was already approved via court order and insurance blessing. That helped grease the wheels for the school to accept the lesser placement and allow Chica Marie the chance to be in her kindergarten classroom with her peers and not shoved into a less-academic classroom and never given the chance to prove herself. The school did admit that Chica Marie did well this week, despite the many pitfalls, so I think that also worked in our favor. Kudos to the kiddo for being able to hold it together in school, because by the time she got home she was totally spent.

 

One disappointing thing was revealed during the phone conversation with the county case worker. Several weeks ago she had responded to the question of TPR with a date in September. When she came out to my place three weeks ago she said the date had not yet been confirmed and that it could be the September date or sometime in October. Yesterday she confirmed it would be the end of October. I try not to let myself get worked up about these things because they happen too often and I don’t need that spike in my blood pressure, but holy Hannah Montana! I cannot understand what has taken the county so long to get this date on the calendar! I don’t understand why they didn’t move for TPR right after the visits were cut off, because you can’t be moving for reunification if visits aren’t happening! At TPR, assuming this October date is the one that sticks, Love Bug will have lived with me for 844 days, Chica Marie for 811. I couldn’t keep my composure when this was announced during the meeting. I hung my head in anger, frustration, and disbelief. It seems so wrong to keep forcing everyone to live in limbo, especially when the last court hearing made it crystal clear that reunification was off the table.

 

I know the frustration I have felt is nothing compared to the frustration and confusion of poor Chica Marie. I have been trying to mentally prepare her for kindergarten, getting her ready for what to expect, talking about expectations, taking her to the open house to see her classroom and meet her teacher, only to have to see a different classroom and meet a different teacher. Thursday morning I was preparing her to ride a bus for 90 minutes, giving her two important rules, to stay in her seat and not yell. She has had the worst first week of school possible and not because of anything she has done, just by virtue of her past and her status as a behaviorally challenged foster kid. It’s been a total nightmare and I think it’s amazing that she isn’t balking at going to school at all at this point. I quizzed her on her letters and she only gets confused on a few. Last night I started teaching her words. She will need to learn 43 sight words by the end of kindergarten and she has already missed three days. I won’t let melee delay her education, I will just teach her at home. She is smart and needs to be challenged, so if the school won’t do it, then I will.

 

Tonight Esperanza and her cousin will be sleeping over. This happens fairly frequently at Primero’s instance. I am really hoping for a quiet weekend. I heard Hermano and his girlfriend were planning on bringing the baby for a visit. It’s a three hour drive, round trip, so I’m not sure if that will come to fruition. My sister and her husband are going to be coming up this weekend. They are in the process of buying a home and want to celebrate. I think we are having a cook-out at my parent’s place. I had thought about going to the pool, but then I heard it was supposed to rain, so I’m not sure. I would honestly like to do simply nothing because I am that exhausted, but I know that never happens. I’m just thankful the pressing migraine is starting to abate.