Baby Names

Back when I thought having a biological baby was possible, I dreamt of the names I wanted to bestow upon my precious babe. My ex and I did not agree on many names but we did find a boy name I really loved. Emerson. I know the trend lately has been to use it for a girl, but I really see the name more masculine. I really liked Emerson David but compromised to use my ex’s middle name, which is Antonio. We had a harder time agreeing on a name for a girl. He liked Julissa but I hated that name. I liked Allura Grace but he didn’t care for it. At one point we both liked Genesis but I didn’t like the pronunciation in Spanish (Hena-sis) and the more I said the name out loud, the less I liked it. I think we settled on using our grandmother’s names because we were both close to our grandmothers. His grandmother was named Adelia and mine is Alice. I like Alice Adelia but calling her Adelia. We never did have to come to an agreement on any names and the child my ex had with his new wife was named after him.

 

I didn’t really get a chance to name my children. Sure, legally, I had the option to call them whatever I wanted, but it reality it is way more complicated. For my oldest, he had the ultimate decision on his name. He toyed with the idea of changing his first name to the alias he likes to use, but decided against it for fear of retribution from his siblings. He chose to remove his father’s last name and tack on my very long surname. He tried talking me into keeping my married name but I just didn’t want the name I felt didn’t belong to me. For Love Bug, I chose to change his middle name. I toyed with giving him Emerson, but it didn’t fit. Instead I gave him my dad’s middle name (which is also my brother’s middle name) which also gave Love Bug the same initials as my father and brother. Chica Marie was a horse of a different color. The pronunciation of her first name was complicated and everyone said it differently. Hearing her mom pronounce it when we saw her at the pool a few weeks ago made me realize we all pronounced it wrong. So, I broached the subject of changing her name, but keeping it similar and continuing to use her nickname. I had a few versions but let her decide and we were both content with using Allura as her middle name. When we discovered her middle name was given to honor her paternal grandmother, we decided to use two middle names. Using Allura gave her the same initials as her brother. I liked the continuity.

 

Because she mostly goes by her nickname, people don’t generally use her given name when speaking to her or about her. I did overhear a girl at her daycare using her old name and Chica Marie didn’t correct her. I know she knows her name; she used to say it so often that Love Bug can rattle it off faster than his own name. When I pointed out the girl used her old name, she shrugged so I let it go. She seemed to be more energetic about her name before it because her name. Now, she sometimes denies her name has changed. When we saw her mom at the pool I talked to her the next day about how it felt hearing her mom call her by her given name, the one we changed. She said it was ok. I asked her if she thought her mom knew her name had changed and she said her mom knew about it. I asked her if it felt strange hearing her mom use her full name and she just nodded. Chica Marie is not one to talk about how she is feeling. It’s hard to discern what she is really thinking about any particular thing. Like so many things in our life, it’s an on-going discussion.