My Life at the Moment

Bullet-point re-cap of the insanity of my life at the moment:

 

• When I was taking the beginner’s yoga classes in February-March I did a move that hurt my left wrist. I just assumed I could let it go and it would get better. But, it was still aching after months and seemed to be getting worse. So, finally about 2 weeks ago I contacted the chiropractor who helped me with my carpal tunnel 5 years ago. She did an assessment and sent me for x-rays because she thought I might have a hairline fracture. Last Monday the results of the x-ray were shown to be inconclusive, so on Friday I had an MRI. My wrist could be broken or I could have a cyst. At this point I just want answers so my wrist can get back to normal. It seems to be hurting more from all the attention….
• Things with Primero are still in a constant contentious place. He screamed such horrendous things at me last week I felt physical pain from it. We talked later but his attitude still sucks and he still wants to be an adult but doesn’t want any responsibilities. I don’t know how much more I can take!
• Not this past weekend, but the weekend before Primero, the older brother of Toxic Friend and I replaced the toilet and floor in the bathroom. It was a very long project. The little ones were visiting with their grandmother, so it seemed like a good time to tear the bathroom apart. We worked from 11:30 am until 1:30 am on Saturday. We only have one bathroom and by the time we ripped out the toilet and tub and replaced the flooring under the tiles we pulled up, it was very late.
• From our time working on the bathroom together, the older brother of Toxic Friend developed a crush on me and so that began a whirlwind of things. He spent the weekend at our house again this past weekend. We are talking but it’s weird and hard and strange and I need more time to sit and think. He is young, a good deal younger than me, but mostly responsible and mature. He broke up with his girlfriend but she is still living with him. He has a young daughter in foster care. And he is Toxic Friend’s brother. Friends with Primero. My life should be a TV sitcom….
• Esperanza brought a kitten home the same weekend we were working on the bathroom. She got the kitten from her youngest sister. Primero brought the kitten’s sister home a few days later. They are adorable but have been dumped on me to take care of because both young adults have an aversion to staying home. The little one’s love the kittens so I’m trying to keep my cool about it.
• Primero got a tattoo by his former step-father who is his youngest sister’s father. His boys go to our daycare. The tattoo is on the outside, under his pinky finger, of his left hand. It’s a single rose. I don’t love it and he doesn’t either. He wants it to be thicker. He wants me to get a tattoo with him later this summer. I have exactly zero tattoos. I wanted to get one when I was 18 (a tramp stamp before I knew what they were called – they were cool when I was a teenager) but I never did and I’ve always been glad for that. At this point, it seems more original to not have a tattoo because literally everyone and their mother has a tattoo. And I have seen more ugly tattoo’s than ones I like. I will probably pass… But, it is kind of a nice thing to do together….
• Primero’s friend, who is dating Toxic Friend, is staying with us. She brought a dog along with her. She kept leaving her very anxious dog at home for me to look after. On Sunday they were going to leave to spend the night at Toxic Friend’s house and made no plans for the dog; they didn’t talk to me about watching him, they had no plan for the dog when no one was home on Monday, nothing. It really made me mad (see above with Primero shirking responsibility). Plus, there were a multitude of people in my house off and on all weekend and I feel worn out from it all.
• Speaking of this friend, it was such a mess when she left her mom’s place because she basically packed up and ran away. A friend dropped her off on our doorstep Friday afternoon. Her mother called the cops and reported her kidnapped, even though she left of her own accord and she is of age. Her mom posted on Facebook and even got a snap of Primero’s Facebook account to accuse him of kidnapping her. It was insane. The cops came to our place after she called to tell them she was not kidnapped. They made her call her mom, which she didn’t want to do when I told her to do it, and that seemed to resolve the issue.
• Primero’s aunt (former neighbor) has started asking me for money. At first, it was just $20 so she could buy food when she took her daughter to the medical center an hour away. They had to ride the bus and it was a long day. Now, she’s asking for money again and cigarettes. Time to say no politely….
• Primero and I were supposed to drive to Atlantic City last Thursday to see Demi Lovato in concert, on the beach. Only, she apparently overdosed on heroin and was hospitalized, so she wasn’t going to be there. It’s so sad to see someone struggling with their demons publicly. It’s hard to deal with them in private but when the whole world knows about it, that’s an extra layer to deal with. Hopefully she will make a full recovery. Primero asked for us to find an alternative to go away for a night somewhere. I’m working on figuring that out.

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