On Saturday we went to the farm to
visit my mom for her birthday. It was awkward. My sister was there before us
and she had a conversation where Mom said she regretted staying home with us
for 10 years because we were ungrateful. During conversation when I was there
she commented how their dog really loves little kids and babies because when my
cousin’s daughter was over he would not leave her side. I asked when they were
over and Mom responded, “for the fourth of July picnic.” Oh. You mean the one
we weren’t invited to? The one I knew nothing about? Ok cool. The sad thing is
all her pushing away is working. I don’t want to spend time with her, I don’t
want to sit with her and be her whipping post. The Friday before the fourth my
sister and I tried appealing to our dad for help. He towed the party line,
meaning he made excuses for her telling us she is scared and lashing out.
Except, this isn’t totally new, it’s just more forceful than before. The only
positive that came from the conversation was Dad agreeing Mom should talk to
someone. I reached out to a former pastor who Dad believes Mom will talk to but
to my knowledge, he has not yet responded to the pastor’s email response to set
up a date and time to chat. I hold little hope it will help, but I suppose
there’s always room for a miracle.
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Both things that Rhonda raised have crossed my mind as I've read your last few posts. My mother had dementia, and now my MIL has it. The first sign of it in MIL was her anger.
ReplyDeleteYour Dad is stuck between his daughters and his wife, and that's not an easy position to be in. Especially if he's spent the years with her making excuses for her behaviour, or compromising with her. And (gross generalisation coming) men seem to be terrible with emotions and conflict!
I have fingers crossed that this situation improves for you.