When it Rains

Wanna hear how my morning was worse than yours? Love Bug peed on my head. Go ahead and laugh, I’ll wait…….

 

Ok, are you done now? Ready to hear the sordid tale? Primero didn’t have school today so I was all alone in getting the kids ready. Usually I have Primero to help with the odds and ends sort of stuff and in making sure everyone survives until we walk out the door. I didn’t have that this morning. Our regular routine is for me to wake Chica Marie up around 7, give her the clothing she is supposed to wear and walk away until she gets dressed and is not in a horribly grumpy mood. I’m not sure how she accomplishes this with no coffee  and just by changing out of her pajamas, but hey, it works. She then takes her pill and spends roughly 30 minutes sipping her juice which is really only two swallows, but this girl is an Olympic procrastinator. While she is taking her sweet old time, I am brushing my teeth, washing my face and finding something presentable to but on. I am also hoping Love Bug will wake up on his own because he is such a bear if we have to wake him up. Generally, this is a task I assign to Chica Marie because she has some special fairy dust that helps Love Bug to wake up on the right side of bed. This morning, I was a little behind because A) I really thought it was Saturday, B) it has been raining all week and the gloom has finally affected me and I don’t want to do a damn thing, C) not only was I slow moving to get out of bed and hit the alarm once too many times, but I also decided to put the clean dishes away before starting my breakfast and thus put myself behind even more – I’m that sort of a genius, and D) the above mentioned lack of help. So, I just scooped Love Bug out of bed and whisked him off to Chica Marie’s room to get changed. He wasn’t too grumpy about it this morning and I thought perhaps he is mellowing out a bit when in reality he had a far more nefarious plan of action. I stripped off his pajamas and took off his soiled diaper. I wiped his bum and realized I dropped the diaper, so I bent to pick it up before turning to put his clean diaper on. And that’s where I went wrong. Love Bug shot a stream of urine into the air and onto the floor. Luckily, he missed his clothing, so I quickly wiped up the puddle under his naked hiney and bent to wipe the floor because I thought he was done. No, no he was not. I feel rain drops on my head and turn to realize it wasn’t rain but more urine spilling down on me. I screamed. I jumped up and almost slipped on the wet floor before quickly jamming the diaper on Love Bug’s bottom and re-cleaning the floor. I have pee in my hair. My hair was done and ready to walk out the door. My make-up was almost done too. I didn’t have time to shower and start all over, not to mention the fact that I would have had to rouse Primero to watch the kids while I showered. I’m going to work with pee in my hair. Good God what has my life become?! I tried to rinse it out but quickly gave up and just sprayed more spray gel on my hair and hoped for the best. I mean, it is raining and I don’t generally carry an umbrella, so I’m sure it all washed out. Right? Sigh….