Finally Forever!

I didn’t want to write anything until after the fact because I feared another last minute change of heart. Thankfully, that did not happen and so Wednesday afternoon the four of us officially became a family. I didn’t find out until Tuesday afternoon that the county changed their stance from “regrettable I was given a date” to, the adoption is ON. I held my breath, barely daring to believe it to be true. Apparently, when I spoke to the county case worker on Friday and suggested she speak to the other therapeutic staff who know Chica Marie to get a real feel on how she’s processing all of this, she took me up on the offer. The Family Based therapist wrote a note, stating they felt it was the limbo and lack of permanency that pushed Chica Marie to feeling desperate about the adoption. They processed the event with her (and me) and determined a lot of her feelings had to do with her fear of losing her sister. Once we talked about not letting that happen, she seemed to settle back into looking forward to the adoption. And Wednesday? This girl was nothing but excited and happy and beaming. And, she was very interested and involved in her adoption. She sat, unflinching, in the opposing counsel seat, facing the judge head on, listening intently to all the proceedings. She went along with me up the stand, and stood by me as I choked back tears when I explained why I wanted to adopt her and her brother. Her only disappointment was that her sister was unable to attend (PSSA testing at school, according to Grandma) and that the judge didn’t bang his gavel when he announced the adoption complete. Love Bug, on the other hand, was blissfully oblivious, sitting on Primero’s lap listening to music. As we walked out of the County Services Building Love Bug announced, “Back to normal!” and I think that’s how he felt about the whole thing – this was just the final step to getting his life “back to normal” with no legal/CYS interruption.

 

Before we went to the adoption, Chica Marie, Love Bug and I painted some rocks. We have a local group that does something similar to this and asks people to post the rocks on their group Facebook page. I thought it might be a nice idea for the kids to paint a rock for other kids and families dealing with the foster care system. My rock said “Family,” Chica Marie wrote, “I Love You Mom,” and Love Bug lost interest after painting half of his rock a light teal, so I made it a beach theme and wrote, “Life is better at the beach.” We each stashed our rocks near the courthouse and discovered Love Bug’s rock was gone by the time we came back out. Later, on the Facebook page, I discovered Chica Marie’s rock was also found and posted. Chica Marie and I decided to paint one for her teacher, which we plan to do this weekend and I think we will be painting more and hiding them around because it’s fun but also, hopefully, someone having a bad day or a hard time will find the rock and smile, even if just for a moment.

 

Later in the day, we went to a local restaurant/video arcade made possible by the generous gift card from our Family Based therapists. We had dinner and then played games until we needed to go home to get the kiddos to bed. Love Bug really enjoyed the car games, even if he couldn’t reach the pedals. Primero or I would put our feet on the pedals and he would steer and try to honk the horn. It was hard keeping the two kids together, but thankfully it wasn’t too full since it was a week night.

 

Almost as if to prove us all right, Chica Marie had an amazing day at school the day after the adoption and has really been doing well since that day. Of course, we could be back in a honeymoon period, but I think she is finally feeling settled and the fear and anxiety of foster care seems to be sloughing off her, letting her shine. All I can say is - Hallelujah! I’m so glad we finally made it to forever!