Can I handle it? This is the question I get asked regarding having three children living in my home. Can I handle it? If I didn’t think I could handle it, would I have agreed to do it? No, I would not. First of all, one of these kids is old enough to bathe and feed himself and requires minimal supervision. The baby is the real attention hog because all of his needs have to be met by me. But, he is sleeping a little better at night and so I am not feeling so frazzled. The little girl is a handful, most toddlers are, but she proved to me that she can be a very good girl when we went to the beach on Saturday. She was exceptionally well-behaved, not just for her temperament, but for any child her age. She stayed with us on the boardwalk and when she got bored in the stores she sat on the bucket I bought her to play in the sand (which, alas, she did not get to use for that purpose due to foul weather and even worse traffic). There are things that she does that bugs me, like having sticky little fingers when we are out shopping (she once stole a pack of gum when we were grocery shopping and she tried to steal a toe ring at the shore) and insisting on using a pull-up rather than using the toilet, but these are things to work on. She was recently evaluated for therapy and I’m going to push for her to get that because I think it will help.
A friend of mine, who had been a foster parent for many years, was on a trip in Puerto Rico and just came back. While there she visited friends who adopted twins while living in our area and they are now foster parents in Puerto Rico. My friend was telling me they had a little boy who is a handful and explained that the foster mom couldn’t get anything done with him around. My friend encouraged her friend to put in a 30 days’ notice because, “it’s not worth it.” I cringed. How can a three year old little boy not be worth it? My friend admitted this little boy had already been in numerous other foster homes and my heart breaks for him. I try not to judge other foster families for the decisions they make regarding the children in their care because I am not in their homes to see these things first hand, nor would I like to be judged for the decisions I make. But, to say “it’s not worth it” like the child is a complicated crossword puzzle or some other inconsequential thing, well it’s quite heartless, I think. Is my life going to be crazy from here on out with three kids living under my roof? It sure is. Every waking hour I have that is not spent at my job will be dedicated to these kids (with the exception of when I take some me time) because I think showing little children they are loved and teaching them how to be responsible, contributing members of society is very important. And, if I don’t do it, who will? So, yes, I can handle having a teenager, a toddler and an infant in my home and our little rag-tag family will make the most of our time together and we will grow and be the best human beings we can be, because it’s worth it.
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