Accept the Things You Cannot Change

Yesterday afternoon while I was at work, Primero called me. His brother was so depressed and threatening to run away, couldn’t I talk to him? He conference called us into a three-way call. And I spoke with his brother, expressing how sorry I was that he was feeling so homesick and listening to him tell me about his current situation. I let him know the reason he didn’t move in with me and Primero was because of the babies living in the house and concerns about space, it was not because he wasn’t wanted or not welcome in my home. Several times, we could hear the emotion in his voice and his sniffles as he tried to hold back the tears. Ugh, stab me with a rusty spoon! I hate to see people, especially kids, suffering like that. I told him to talk to his case worker and anyone who would listen that he wasn’t happy and that he wanted to be closer to his brother, if not with his brother. I encouraged him to follow the rules, no matter how much he disliked them, to not make things worse or to get sent back to the adolescent facility. I told him to hang in there while people (his brother, me, the case workers, the county) sort things out. I suggested he call his brother when he was feeling especially down, to help him through the really tough times. And I felt so bad for him. I know he just wants what his brother has – a stable, happy home.

 

After they three-way called me, they called Primero’s case worker and explained the situation to her. Per an email correspondence with her, it seems, according to Primero’s CHOR case worker, that he will remain where he is at for the time being. My house is only licensed for three children, which is my current capacity, plus the case worker feels it is best that the brother is not in the city where there are a lot of triggers for him. She thinks he would run away and revert back the life he was living. She did forward the boys concerns along to the county case worker, so hopefully they can work with him and help him to feel more comfortable. Hopefully he will accept the decisions being made for him right now and strive to better his situation. I feel at a loss, unable to help a situation that has so many factors outside of my control. I can only be a support to this kid, offer him a set of ears and kind words, and to let him know someone out there does care and wants to help. And I pray for a resolution that he can live with…..