Baby Daddy

You would think, after a few years as a foster parent, that next to nothing would shock me. I won’t say I’m shocked, because really it was inevitable, I’m just disappointed and kinda angry that it happened. Let me explain. Friday evening Primero got a call. It was his brother, the one who was in the shelter at a facility for juvenile delinquents. He was moved in with a foster family in another county, with another agency. I felt so bad when Primero told me his brother asked why I didn’t take him. I hate that he felt unwanted. Primero said he understood once it was explained what the situation was in our house. Primero’s brother was most interested in getting in contact with his girlfriend and Primero facilitated the three-way call for them. After the call he came out of his room and announced he was going to be an uncle – his brother’s girlfriend is pregnant. You’ve got to be kidding me!!!??!! Both Primero and I knew it was going to happen at some point, his brother is very promiscuous, but he is also very immature for his age. The brother is about a year and change older than Primero, so way too young to be a father. And, with his stint in the facility and now being in foster care, it’s not really the best time for him to have another huge life-changing event plopped in his lap. I expressed my disappointment and frustration to Primero, demanding he promise to never be a baby daddy. I told him to think about how much work the baby was and to remember that when he thought about having sex. It’s a good thing he’s not a girl or I would be taking him to the gyno for an IUD! Babies having babies just makes me so angry. Not only because I won’t get that same chance, but mostly because there are so many ways, so many options to prevent pregnancy, that it’s just downright irresponsible and lazy to get “accidentally” pregnant as a young person (I know grown women who have become accidentally pregnant, but in those cases it was either because they thought they were infertile or the protection they were using failed – which is way different from not using protection at all – plus, they were in stable and committed relationships, not bouncing from boyfriend to boyfriend every four months). I think there is a culture in the city that promotes teen pregnancy because there are way too many young girls having babies who have no business having babies. And the boyfriend of the month disappears once the diaper changing begins. It just downright disgusts me. I guess because I see so many babies and children in this situation through no fault of their own, and they end up in foster care because of someone else’s stupidity. So, I guess we will see how it all plays out.