April Fool's Take 2

I wrote something short about April Fool’s Day and the propensity to see fake pregnancy announcements. Luckily, when I did sneak a peek at my Facebook page last Friday, I did not see anyone pulling this particular joke. I did see a friend or two who posted about how unfunny those announcements were, which I liked and commented on. Then, sadly, I came across an entertainment post by the local radio station which described how Gwen Stefani posted a fake ultrasound picture declaring “it’s a girl!” Stupidly, I read the comments and I was shocked at how many people ridiculed those offended by her “joke” telling the offended parties to lighten up, stop being offended for no reason, and basically get a life it’s just a joke. Er, no. I agree that it seems too many people get offended by too simple of things and it all gets blown up on social media. But, I disagree this is one of those things and here is why.

 

1. Ok, I can guess why Gwen might have posted such a thing. I’m not going to say I’m the most up-to-date on all things Hollywood, but I’m guessing there have been rumors or speculations she is expecting a child with her new beau, Blake Shelton. And, to mock these rumors, she posted a faux pregnancy announcement only to pull the “April Fool’s!” ruse. It’s immature. Regardless of the reason, it’s very adolescent. But, it is also not funny. I’m all for silly pranks to catch people off guard on April Fool’s Day. I do have a pretty good sense of humor and I think I also have a pretty high threshold for taking offense. But, there are some things that are simply not funny. Would it have been a funny joke for Gwen to announce she had cancer? Or AIDS? Who anyone have called naysayers thin skinned if she joked about having asthma or cataracts? Then why is it funny to joke about pregnancy and by default infertility? In my opinion, it is not funny. Not in the slightest.
2. Do you realize how prevalent infertility is in society today? According to Resolve 1 in 8 couples will have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy. Do you know at least 8 people, have at least 8 friends on Facebook? Then, chances are you know someone who is struggling with infertility, meaning they would give just about anything for a REAL pregnancy announcement. Do you think that makes a fake pregnancy announcement funny to them? On the website for Global Library of Women’s Medicine, infertility is listed as a life crisis with such losses as self-esteem, relationships, health, and financial security. Any of this sounding comical?
3. If it shocks you to learn that perhaps one or more of your friends is dealing with infertility, consider why that might be. Infertility often elicits a lot of shame and the desire to hide such devastating conditions from friends and even family. The quote from this article says it all, “Infertility is a shame-filled, silent trial, isolating couples in closed bedrooms of pain.” Really, it’s not funny at all when you look at it this way. And again, the chances of someone you know living with this condition is quite high, which means the fake pregnancy announcement will very likely cause pain to someone you know.
4. Sadly, fake pregnancy announcements are not the only insensitive things someone struggling with infertility might have to endure. There are all kinds of rude comments from suggesting adoption (this is not a cure for infertility) to implying the couple might not be good parents so God eliminated their chances – God doesn’t want you to have a baby. Some people try to say encouraging things, like “now you can sleep in! no sleepless nights with a newborn!” or mentioning you have more money (not if you’re going through infertility treatments!) and time to do the things you like, things you couldn’t do with a kid or two. It’s all hurtful! Would you suggest to a friend who lost a parent or other loved one, “hey, look at all the money you’ll save on mother’s day cards!” Um, no I certainly hope not.
5. There are a few prominent people and celebrities who have made their private infertility struggles public knowledge and many, many more who have not (and, of course, it’s their right to not share such private matters!). (here’s a good article on this matter) The take-away is two-fold, one being that infertility is indiscriminate and can happen to anyone and two, there is a stigma to it that even celebrities avoid airing such “dirty laundry.” Of course, the one thing celebrities have that many other infertile couples do not have is near-limitless money to throw at the problem. On my own infertility journey further infertility treatments were halted due to the financial burden to “try” to get pregnant. My insurance, although a good insurance plan, did not cover any infertility treatments. Infertility is a health condition, one that affects every aspect of your life, and yet many insurance plans cover little to no treatments. Birth control is covered, a vasectomy, tubal ligation – all covered but infertility treatments, you’re on your own.

 

Like so many things in life, if you haven’t lived it, you can’t understand the pain of infertility. While I do worry about people getting all twisted up about trivial things then blowing it out of proportion on social media, that doesn’t mean there aren’t valid reasons to being offended. Instead of worrying about who’s taking offense, wouldn’t it be nicer if we all worried about being the most compassionate human being we could be? I think it might make the world a nicer place, but then I’m probably too thin skinned.