Go Crazy-Crazy

Things have been pretty crazy lately. Again. We had a visit with Primero’s mother this past weekend, Love Bug had his broken tooth extracted yesterday and the saga of the transportation for Chica Marie’s school prep program continues.

 

The visit almost didn’t happen on Saturday. After nearly being denied respite for the little ones, more issues arose. The dominos began falling Friday evening when Primero’s mom text him to say she had to work from 7-3 on Saturday. I said no big deal, I’d call the respite home and see if we could change the times and they were agreeable to that, so one problem averted. Then, Saturday morning, a strange number kept calling my cell phone. I didn’t recognize the area code, so I ignored it. Then I saw I had voicemail and when I listened to it, it was the respite home. She had to take her daughter to the hospital and was unable to watch the children. Primero and I tried to scramble to get a different sitter last minute, but the only one we reached said she couldn’t go out because the roads were slippery. It had been snowing all morning and while it wasn’t laying on the roads, it was starting to accumulate on the grass. Undeterred, we decided to take the kids along. It wasn’t like we were doing something they couldn’t do – we were going to the mall and having dinner. We set out, the roads were just wet and the snow eventually stopped. As we were on our way, Primero got a text from his mom stating she had to work over-time. Primero demanded she decline the overtime, telling her we were already en route. We made a slight detour to visit the oil and vinegar shop I wanted to visit last week when we took an excursion to a different grocery store. Primero thought it was strange to taste test various infused olive oils and vinegars, but he participated and we all laughed at Love Bug’s face when he would try the tart concoctions. We then drove into town to pick up Primero’s mom. He went to retrieve her from her house and my heart stopped beating when he went inside. Maybe I have trust issues, but I didn’t like him being inside a strange house. Once they came back outside, we headed off to the mall and put our names in the queue at the restaurant and then walked the mall a bit while we waited. Love Bug was super grumpy at dinner, but other than that it was a pleasant meal. There were a few awkward moments, but mostly things went as well as expected. I still find it hard hearing Primero call his biological mother mom and call me by my name. I don’t think that ache will ever go away. There was a moment when we were leaving the mall where a man was staring at Primero (I thought he was staring at all of us) and his mom took offense and began shouting at him as we kept walking. When we talked about it later, Primero seemed to see this as his mom defending him, where I saw it as creating trouble. So the man was staring? He was rude. Does his non-verbal opinion matter in the grand scheme of things? Why make his stare mean anything by yelling at him, just walk on and ignore his ignorance. We dropped Primero’s mom off at a different spot from where we picked her up. Again, I was nervous when Primero went inside with her. We drove home with two sleeping kids and a few goodies purchased. Primero told me (not ask, he TOLD me) he is going to his mom’s one year sober anniversary this coming weekend. I asked him if his uncle or older brother were going because he could go along with them. He reported last night that he doesn’t think his brother is going but he hasn’t asked his uncle yet. We shall see how it all works out.

 

Yesterday was a mess. Well, to be more concise, yesterday I was a mess. I had to be up ridiculously early to get to the surgery center by 6 am for Love Bug’s tooth extraction. And he never sleeps well, so I don’t sleep well. I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for some coffee and a breakfast sandwich. It took nearly an hour for all the prep stuff to happen and Love Bug was getting antsy partially because he was up earlier than normal and partially because he was hungry but mostly because we were doing something out of the norm and it threw him off. Eventually, Love Bug and his glow worm were sent off to surgery with the nurse anesthetist. It only took roughly 30 minutes before his dentist was briefing me on how things went. She said the tooth was lose and starting to get abscessed, so it was a good thing it was removed. She capped the remaining front tooth and warned he couldn’t have anything sticky or gummy because it could pull the cap lose. A few minutes after she left the nurse called my name and walked me back to the room where Love Bug was being cradled by a kindly male nurse. The nurse ushered me into the only chair in the room and Love Bug was deposited in my arms with an IV in one arm and the pulse-ox monitor on his other hand. He promptly pulled the monitor from his finger and flung it to the floor. The nurse retrieved it and put it on his big toe then replaced his socks. I was warned, as we walked back to his room, that his mouth was still bloody from the extraction. This was an understatement. His mouth oozed bright red blood as much if not more than when he fell and hurt himself. Love Bug was sucking his pointer finger, as is his custom to soothe himself, and so the blood was dried on his finger in varying shades of burgundy red. The nurse gave me a wet paper towel to clean him off and he ended up getting some blood on my shirt, which I cleaned off as well. We sat for roughly 45 minutes before the nurses decided Love Bug was ok to leave. He was still very cranky and not really awake until we hit the cold air outside. The kindly nurse wheeled our things downstairs, since Love Bug did not want me sitting down with him and waited for me to pull the van around to the entrance rather than try to carry it all to the car at once. I drove home and fed Love Bug, who by now was much more awake and rowdy, a banana and a scrambled egg. I then passed out on the couch and he did too, so I scooped him up and put him in his crib. Our afternoon seemed to be going well until I fell asleep again. This time I was out cold and didn’t wake up until Love Bug was tapping me on the chest saying, “Eat-eat!” I had been trying to get my cell phone to charge and failing, so groggily walked to the kitchen, only to discover it was 5:23!! I was supposed to pick up Chica Marie by 4:30! And where was Primero? He didn’t come home from school! I was going to get groceries with Love Bug before I picked up Chica Marie! I didn’t change my clothes (I was wearing old, messy clothes to bum around the house – as is my usual habit), Love Bug was only wearing one sock because I couldn’t find his other one in the mess he made in the living room. We raced off to the daycare, where it seemed everyone was totally unconcerned that I was late retrieving Chica Marie. I had been informed by a phone call earlier in the afternoon, that Chica Marie had an accident while napping and they would be sending her soiled clothing and bedding home for me to wash. I had just washed the bedding this weekend and given the jumbled afternoon, I was in no mood to do laundry. Love Bug was hungry so I stopped for pizza and to grab the most essential items I needed from the dollar store. I bought Love Bug a strawberry fruit ice pop, which he made a royal mess with in his car seat as we drove back home. As I was trying to unload the few bags of groceries from the car, a bag broke spilling the contents in the street. I was so tired I was nearly in tears as I fed the kids and tried to start washing the dishes and do a load of laundry to clean Chica Marie’s bedding. Love Bug was so sticky from the ice pop and then the pizza sauce he smeared all over himself I decided he needed to get a bath. I put him in the tub first, then turned my attention on Chica Marie. When I turned back around I saw floaters in the tub. Love Bug had pooped in the tub. So, I scooped him out and washed him off in the kitchen sink (luckily I had not had time to start the dishes). I gave Chica Marie a cloth to wipe off with, since I was mostly concerned about her smelling like pee from her accident. Then, I sanitized the tub and the bath toys in the tub. I was finally able to wash the dishes just in time to leave to pick up Primero, thus ending a pretty rough day.

 

Things with transportation have not been worked out with the special school prep program that Chica Marie has started attending. I spoke with her teacher last week who initially told me nothing could be done, the bus couldn’t pick her up earlier at our house and I couldn’t drop her off any earlier than 8:30 at the facility. When I asked about getting her picked up at home at the time I was quoted (8:10), the teacher told me I could change the transportation myself. So, right after I spoke with her I called the contact I was given in transportation. I didn’t hear back. So I called again this morning. The woman told me the same thing she told me two weeks ago – the teacher has to request the change in transportation. So, I called the teacher again and now I wait and play the phone tag game with her. I’m ready to throw in the towel. I despise this county agency and their inability to simplify anything or answer phone messages promptly. If this doesn’t get resolved this week, I’m done. Chica Marie will just have to start school in the fall without the prep class. The stress of dealing with the transportation has eroded much of the goodwill I had towards the services offered.

 

Sunday, as we were pulling up in front of my parents’ house, I checked my Facebook and noticed an ultrasound picture posted. I expected to see it from Hermano, as he has posted a recent ultrasound picture of his child. Instead, it was from a guy I was seeing last year. We only went out a few times and I knew almost right away we had no future, but it was startling to see he is going to be a father right around the same time Hermano’s baby is expected. I found it strangely discouraging. I didn’t want to pursue anything with this guy (he was too socially awkward for my taste) but to know he found someone and got her pregnant roughly 2 months after our last date was a bit hard to swallow. That, and he never professed a desire to have a biological child (it’s something I’m sure to talk about because well, it’s not really an option for me). They are having a boy. I noticed, also on Facebook, a few months ago this same guy was posting about a house he bought, presumably for the girlfriend and her daughter (I think she’s a year younger than Chica Marie), which seemed crazy given they hadn’t been together all that long. I want to take heart in this newly discovered information. If someone who is socially awkward can find love, surely I can too! But, I find it has the opposite effect – what’s so wrong with me that I’m still single? Sigh. Yesterday was a day I really wished I had a partner in all of this because I needed to tap out for a breather. I really could have used someone else to do the dishes and the laundry because it was a real struggle to push myself to do those things. And, the problem with being able to do it all alone is that if there ever were someone wanting to join this mess, I would probably decline their help because I wouldn’t be able to relinquish the control. Sometimes I wish I had time to actively pursue dating but mostly I find it’s a waste. I don’t have the hours to dedicate to actually vetting a match before agreeing to meet and date. Too bad Mr. Right can’t just pop up while I’m out doing my regular thing. A girl can dream, can’t she?