A friend of mine at work caught me off guard one evening as
I was leaving work. She said she had thought of me because her niece was having
a baby she couldn’t parent. She was trying to find a family member to adopt her
daughter, but had not been successful. My friend explained they thought a
cousin who lost twins might take the baby, but she didn’t. My friend didn’t
feel she was in a stable enough situation to take on raising an infant. I told
her it was sweet of her to think of me and that I wished them all the best in
this trying time. She later reported the baby was placed with a waiting couple
over an hour away. Out-of-the blue my friend sent me a picture of this
precious, beautiful baby and it threw me for a loop. I know she is trying to
process this and I might be the only person she knows who has adopted a child,
but I find it just a little inappropriate and slightly painful. It’s not as if
I would even entertain adopting this baby for a whole host of reasons, but just
the mere mention of it made me envision a tiny baby in our home again. I think
if my friend had just made mention of it and let it at that, I wouldn’t be
writing about it, but she took it a step further. She made it real by sending
me a picture of the baby. Again, I think she might feel like she can’t share
this with anyone else and I’m not angry about it, just mildly perplexed. The
picture looks like one of those newborn photo shoots, so I’m guessing it was
shared by the new adoptive parents. My friend made sure to mention they had
until this coming week to change their mind. The timing of this interaction couldn’t
have been worse, given all that has been going on with Chica Marie. To not
emotionally unravel over this, I’ve envisioned the delighted adoptive parents
and the opposing bereft mother; the sweet and bitter of adoption. And, I’m
hoping my friend has gotten this all out of her system now because I have zero
extra emotional energy to devote to such fantastical dalliances.
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Some people think that if you adopt one child you'll adopt a myriad. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. The response I want to make is to ask your friend why she didn't adopt her? Because that makes as much sense as assuming you will, just because you have before. And I'm a little angry at her pressuring you by sending the photo, though I'll try to be kind and assume she didn't really mean to do so.
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