Mr. and Miss Grandparent

For all of my foster children I have introduced all adults, including my parents, as Miss First Name and Mr. First Name. One set of kiddos called my parents Grandma and Grandpop, but the rest of the kids have called them Miss P and Mr. J, including Chica Marie and Love Bug. But, now that the adoption is finalized I’ve been thinking about how to transition their names. I had tried, many moons ago, to strike up the conversation with my mom and she quickly changed the subject. And I’ll be honest, at this point it’s gotten hella awkward. When I took the kids with me to see my mom in the hospital, I cringed every time they would say Miss or Mr. I don’t really have any idea how to undo this. The little one’s have always called me Mommy. Sometimes, when she’s feeling puckish, Chica Marie will call me by my first name but she quickly reverts back to Mommy. She has asked a few times why Primero is permitted to call me by my name, but isn’t placated by my, “Because he is,” response. Someday she might understand. Still, I never transitioned from My Name to Mommy. In fact, all the little ones have called me Mommy even when I have introduced myself as Miss A.  I guess maybe I thought my parents would be interested in assigning whatever grandparent name they want to be called. I thought maybe they were waiting for finalization to pull that trigger. But, nothing has been said. I called my father’s parents PopPop and Nana. My mother’s parents were Grandma and Grandpa, but since my mom’s mom died when I was five and my grandfather disappeared from my life, I just call him by his name. I think a lot of the family gets rubbed the wrong way by that, but I don’t think he can disappear for 13 years and still expect to hold the title of Grandpa. My dad’s father earned his PopPop status. He was always there for us. I think my dad would make a good Pop or Grandpop. I always thought my mom would go for a cooler grandma name like Gigi or something. I guess the biggest issue, regarding what my kids should call my parents, is really the very large elephant in the room, which is what do my parents call my kids? Only once have I ever heard my parents (it was actually just my dad, my mom was not around) claim my kids as their grandchildren. My mom does not brag to her friends about her grandkids the way I’ve heard some of her friends go on and on about what they do with their grandchildren. I know my mom has been sick, but even when she wasn’t sick she had little interest in spending time with my kids. So, maybe they should just stay Miss P and Mr. J…..

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