Foolish

I had my first opportunity to “mother” Hermano over the weekend. The girl who said she was pregnant with his baby called Primero Saturday afternoon. She is cousin’s with Primero’s girlfriend and they were hanging out together and decided to call Primero. The lying about being preggo chickie told Primero that his brother called her and wanted to know if they were still dating and she said they were. She then babbled on about different stupid stuff before asking Primero if he knew what every girls dream was with her best friend. When he said he didn’t know she proceeded to tell him it was for two best friends to get pregnant together by brothers. In other words, she wanted him and his girlfriend to get pregnant (which, um, she already is by someone else…..) and then she and Hermano would do the same. Unfortunately for Primero he had the phone on speaker when this announcement was made and I flipped out, stating he needed to get off the phone with these screwed up girls. A conversation ensued in which he denied hearing the comment and insisted he would not be interested in pursuing the plan as prescribed. I pleaded with him to not throw his future away on a girl like this, who thinks it’s cute to be a pregnant teenager. These girls are nothing but trouble with a capital T. So, since I gave Primero the lecture (and he’s really the most innocent of the bunch) I had to give Hermano my spcheal. But, with Hermano I launched into how this girl seems hell bent on getting knocked up and if he’s foolish enough to continue carrying on with her, he had better consider what type of father he wants to be. Does he want to be the absent father he had or would he want something better for his child? How would he support a child right now? I admonished him to worry about himself, to take care of himself right now before getting that involved with some girl. And, I told him he will have to live with the consequences of whatever decisions he makes. I also assured him that making a mistake does not mean he would not be permitted to live in my home, but I hope he will make a wise choice in whatever he decides to do. He took the speech rather well and even thanked me for it afterwards, stating I had given him a lot to think about and no one ever had the conversation with him in the past. I can only hope some of what I said sticks in his gray matter…..

 

 

Saturday night my clothes washer broke. The motor just up and died right after it filled with soapy water and baby blankets. Sunday I took my laundry to my friend’s apartment building because it was slightly cheaper than the Laundromat. While visiting my friend we told her about Primero’s birthday and his brother visiting. My friend was adamant about me not taking Hermano in. As we discussed this Primero, who I know has been holding this in, burst out how he felt it weird that Hermano calls me “Mom” when he doesn’t and he worries that we (Hermano and I) are closer than he is to me and it makes him feel some type of way. He also confirmed what my friend said, that it’s too much for him to have the little ones around, especially the little girl whom he is not very fond of despite her intense attachment to him. I spoke with Primero as we did the laundry and I said if he felt this way he should have told me before I made all kinds of promises to Hermano. He said he wants Hermano to move in but he also feels selfish about it and wants me all to himself. I get that. But I told him that I thought that what he has is what his brother wants, that there is a hole in his heart right now and he so desperately wants to fill it. I knew something had been bothering Primero and I tried to get him to tell me but he wouldn’t. I’m glad he finally let it out and we could talk about it. I assured him that, while my heart has always been to have a big family, it doesn’t mean he would be neglected or that he is any less special to me. I told him, at this point, he is my only son and regardless of the other children in my life, he is my priority. He assured me he did want his brother to live with him but I have my doubts. I guess we will see how things go on Thanksgiving and take it from there. And I know my friend is only thinking of me and worried about me, but her warnings do not deter me from the decision that has already been made. I suppose that’s foolish. I’m just not willing to go back on my word at this point. So, call me foolish.