Her Body

My son is dating a young lady who is about to have an abortion. The baby isn’t his, thank God, it’s from her previous boyfriend. He told me about it last night and it’s been killing me ever since. I don’t want to get into politics about abortion. I understand that other people feel differently about it than I do, and probably share Primero’s cavalier opinion that “it’s her body.” I am staunchly pro-life. There, I said it. I’m not saying I would totally ban abortions, but I firmly believe they should not be used a birth control. I believe they should not be common place and they should not be taken lightly. I think they should be reserved for instances of rape and incest or when the mother’s life is in danger. I don’t think abortions should be for stupid teenagers who can’t be bothered to be responsible enough to use protection when having sex. Sex is not a right, it is a privilege that can come with life-altering consequences such as pregnancy. If a young person is not mature enough to handle the consequences, then they should not engage in the act to begin with – and yes, I know telling a hormonal teenager not to do something is about as good as asking your cat to tap dance. But that’s why teenagers still have parents and parents still have control over their teenagers. Again, I know that I am not expressing a majority opinion here and I don’t care. I am mostly concerned about this situation due to my son’s involvement. First of all, I don’t like that he’s dating a promiscuous girl. He is still innocent and I want him to stay that way for a few more years (not innocent in understanding, please it’s 2014 and he’s seen a lot in his life not to mention on TV and in movies – I just mean in his personal experiences). Not only is this girl promiscuous but she is also irresponsible because this is the second time in a short few months she’s been knocked up by her boyfriend. Once, a mistake, twice you’re irresponsible. I know this girl from this past summer and thought she was sweet. I don’t dislike her now, I just wish she weren’t interested in my son. My second issue is Primero’s reaction to all of this; his nonchalant attitude about abortion and that it’s “her body” makes me want to throw up just a little bit. If it takes two to create a baby, it should take two to destroy a baby as well. It might be her body, but she now shares it with another life (since I’m being unpopular, I might as well go ahead and say I believe life begins at conception), a life that is part her creation and part the creation of her boyfriend. Why should she be the only one to decide the fate of that life which is only partially hers? I’m not a proponent for teen pregnancy, far from it. But, as a person who cannot procreate, I cannot endorse killing a life because it is inconvenient. And I hate the fact that my son could as easily eliminate that fetus as he could a bag of trash. I fervently hope and pray he never finds himself in this situation and I’ve talked with him about it a million times. I never told him I expect him to wait for marriage or any other “antiquated” idea such as that, but I did tell him I hoped he would wait until he was truly in love and that he would be responsible every single time. I warned him of the consequences, not just pregnancy but STDs as well. My heart is a little broken over this but I promised him I would stop talking about it. He said he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I would react this way (I had a similar reaction to the news that his brothers girlfriend was pregnant – which oddly enough that girl is Primero’s girlfriends cousin……). Am I over-reacting? Maybe, but it’s hard not to when you see someone about to extinguish something you so desperately wanted to have, to easily shed an experience you’ve hoped and prayed to have for years. It’s not about me, it’s about her and “her body” but I don’t buy that. It is about me because it’s happening in my community, in an after school program where my son loves to hang out, to a girl he really likes. And I find it deplorable.