Tune It Out

Last Friday I my co-worker friend and I left work early for pedicures. It wasn’t planned for Primero to go along, but he happened to be in the office and so he decided to go with us. He wanted a manicure because he never had one before. The nail salon was pretty busy and we had to wait. Primero was across the room in a chair waiting for his manicure. Another patron came inside for a scheduled manicure and while her nails were cleaned she struck up a conversation with Primero. At one point I heard her loudly exclaim, “She’s your mother?!” Later, when she walked past my chair, she reiterated her disbelief that Primero was my son, accusing me of having a child at 2 years of age. I have written about this topic a lot and I always feel like I don’t handle it well. This time, I mostly followed Primero’s lead. If didn’t out myself, like I usually do, instead I just smiled and agreed I looked too young to have a son Primero’s age. I thanked her for the compliment, backhanded or not. I chuckled at her thinking we were siblings and pointed out that meant we have a close relationship. I know people mean well, or I choose to believe they do, but it’s not always easy to be scrutinized that way. And, I am always reminded that Primero’s mother is my age, just a few months older than me (4 to be exact – both of our birthdays are on the first of the month). I need to learn to take Primero’s approach – acknowledge what has been commented and then tune it out.