Facebook Tag

Generally I love Facebook. I love the opportunity to get a peek into the life and times of people I know or knew at one time. I think it’s a great way to keep up with people I would not ordinarily get to stay in touch with, like my Peace Corps friends. But, then some days I hate Facebook for all the social faux pas and the intricate little things that would fly under the radar if it was happening in real life. Here’s my example from yesterday.

 

Primero text me that he got a 90% on his math test. This is a HUGE deal for him for various reasons, one being he is self-proclaimed terrible at math and has never been able to get a good grade in the subject, but also because this proves to him what I told him all along – he isn’t stupid, he is smart when he applies himself and when he is taught in a way he can learn. His math teacher was one of his favorites and I know that was a contributing factor to his success, but it was also a catalyst for him to work hard. I text him back that I was so proud of him and all the hard work he has been doing this year in school. While he is still most likely going to fail one or two subjects, he has overall done much, much better this year than he did last year and the year before that. So, yay!

 

Where does Facebook come into play in this narrative, you ask. Well, I noticed on my afternoon break that Primero had posted something about this grade on Facebook. He tagged people as well, but not me (ouch). His mom, one of the tagged people, responded and he said, “Thanks mom.” Ok, no big deal. Some other woman responded with a “good job baby boy” and he responded, “Thanks mom.” Wait, hold up! First of all, who is this person? And who is she to call you “baby boy” and give you a kissy face emoji? And why in the hell are you calling her MOM??!?! I was so crushed. I had responded and got a simple “Thank you” from him, no mom. Damn! This random woman (I asked him about her later and he said she was his best friend’s mom when he was younger) gets a thank you MOM for what? Does she give him money to spend on Amazon for those grades? Will she be taking him for his driving permit this Saturday? Has she fought with him to DO his school work and get the grades he is getting? I mean, HOLY SH*T!!! I wish I could say this doesn’t bother me, but that’s a lie. I wish I could say this can’t hurt me anymore, but that’s also a lie. I don’t know how often the same wound can be reopened, but apparently at least once more. I didn’t confront him about it. I only asked about the woman and who she was, I didn’t tell him it tore my heart out and slammed it into the ground to see him call her “mom.” I said nothing. I keep hoping at some point I will become numb to it and the pain won’t touch me. Yesterday was not that day. I remind myself of my place in his life. It is a supporting role and nothing more. And it won’t matter how hard I try to earn the title of mom, nothing short of an act of God will make that happen. Still, it hurts like hell to see some woman who hasn’t laid eyes on him in years (to my knowledge) get that coveted name I won’t ever hear. And sadly, I feel like he is a lot less inclined to include me in any way than he was in the past. I feel like I have really been sidelined in his life and I can’t figure out why. Yes, I know teenagers are supposed to pull away from their parents as they age, but it’s not that. I mean, why not tag me in the Facebook message? Sure, I already knew about it, but what does it hurt to include me? It’s so strange because our day-to-day life has been going well. I think we need to plan some quality time together, just the two of us. That won’t be easy with the lack of respite possibilities, but we shall do what we can.