Today I went shopping with my mom and sister. We had a nice time and I got some new things; on clearance, even better! In other news, the spotting continues. Barely anything on a panty liner, but always present when I wipe. I want it to go away, to just evaporate into nothing. But, history has proven that it will only increase until it is a full-fledged period. I just keep reminding myself that, so I don't let any flicker of hope to convince me otherwise. My mother tried to tell me it could be implantation bleeding, but I told her this is my body's mode of operandi. Tomorrow morning it will be confirmed by the blood test at the doctor's office. I know it will hurt, but I have done my mourning yesterday and Friday and I have moved on - next month. I am still very sad, but it is the simple tired sadness that seems to hang around and linger from cycle to cycle. The upper echelon of joy evades me, but simple happiness I can accomplish.
Tomorrow we will tell the doctor we are not ready for IVF and we would like to get my tubes tested and try the Clomid with the metaformin. Although, I worry about how much this might cost us, if insurance stops covering. These visits can add-up very quickly. I need to not worry about that right now. I need to lean more on God, rather than myself, to achieve this miracle. But, that is so much easier said than done. . . . .
Best of luck tomorrow. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.
ReplyDelete