Disconnected

With all the up’s and down’s with me and Primero I half expected him to flake on the TV segment for CHOR. He agreed to do it a few weeks ago, when my family worker first contacted me about it. The plan was for me to take him there and be in the background as moral support. There was another young man who had been in foster care when he was 16 and is currently a firefighter with a local department. I knew the CHOR PR woman, since I had been on the same segment with her a few times and when we arrived she delightedly cried, “Oh good! You can be on today too!” Oh great. I was not having a good hair day and was totally unprepared to be on the air, but sure why not? Yolo amiright? I didn’t have time to think it all through as we were ushered in front of the cameras. Primero said some very nice things about me as he told the tale of us becoming a family during the taping and afterwards I bought him lunch on his way back to school. When I got back to work I text him, saying I was sorry for getting injected into the taping when I didn’t feel like I should have been there. I was surprised by his response, “Being there honestly opened my eyes a bit and made me realize again why it was that something told me you were the one that should be in my life…. I don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate how much you do for me, you do go over and beyond for me and I know I take that for granted and I apologize for being suck a dick… I’m working on that honestly I am.” It’s a start. I feel like we have a lot of healing from this recent spat. As I told Primero, “The beauty of having a parent is knowing you can take them for granted and yet they will always be there for you. That is unconditional love. Part of growing up and maturing is realizing you should appreciate your parents and other adults who help you become the person you want to be. You don’t need to be grateful for being adopted, that isn’t something you asked to happen to you. But, you should recognize and be thankful for what you have in life. I do for you what I can because I want you to be successful in life, in whatever way you define success. I love you.” Hopefully, we can start mending fences and reconnecting….