Trust Issues

Grandma has invited the kids over for a visit next weekend. Mini Momma is running in a three mile race and Grandma thought it would be nice for the little ones to be there cheering her on. She asked to have the kids sleep over the night before the race. This is the same weekend I will most likely be driving an excruciating 6 hours (one way) to fetch Esperanza and her things to move her back home. I need to make up my mind about what to do with the kids, yet this decision feels very hard to me. I don’t want to be so far away from the little ones when they are visiting Grandma. Especially when my travel time depends on so many things out of my control. As the family therapist said, “It’s telling that you trust the 18 year old more than Grandma.” But, it’s true. Not only because of what happened in the not so distant past, but also from what seems like lack of structure and supervision, plus the sense that Grandma tries to cut me out of things, like developing relationships with siblings and whatnot. So, yeah, I do trust Primero to watch the kids when I’m not there versus sending them to Grandma’s. And, while I do think having the kiddos there is a nice gesture, in reality Love Bug will hate it and Chica Marie will most likely whine, a lot. I assume Grandma will take their older cousin along because it seems she spends a lot of time watching Love Bug. He likes her, so that’s a good thing, it’s just standing around watching a race really isn’t his thing. Chica Marie might be excited to go along, but her excitement will soon turn into annoyance when she is left sitting and watching others run. Unless she is given some form of screen entertainment, which I use so sparingly. It is effective in distracting the children, which is precisely the problem.  If the kids are sleeping over and their past sleep-overs are any indication, Mini Momma won’t be getting much sleep the night before her race. The girls are known to stay up watching movies on the iPad, making for some sleep-deprived girls. Love Bug is not given a nap when visiting, so he often returns grumpy as well.

 

As it stands right now, I told Grandma we might be away the weekend in question. I would honestly rather not spend the majority of the weekend stuck in a car with the two kids, so I would be hard pressed to bring them along. Due to some issues with Primero and his unwanted friend, I’m hesitant to leave him home alone, without the kids being there. He would be a better ride along buddy, but I think it’s a hard sell for him. Grandma demanded dates the little one’s might available and I told her, at the moment my life is kind of on pause because it depends on how my mom’s surgery goes on Thursday. I need to keep myself available to help her recuperate and keep fighting this awful disease. Grandma offered to take the kids, if need be, and I said thank you, but in my mind that would only stress me out more, so um no. It’s not going to happen. So, I still owe her some dates for the kids to visit because I don’t want there to be an issue, although I don’t know what could become of it since all the kids are now officially adopted. I wish things weren’t so strained between us, it would be nice if I could trust her, but it is what it is.