Users Gonna Use

This thing with Primero’s friend has still not died down. I knew that Primero was too involved in this friendship in an unhealthy way but I didn’t realize just how toxic it has been on him. I knew he wouldn’t be happy about not having his friend around but I didn’t realize how nasty he would become, how hurtful standing firm by my boundaries would cause Primero to nearly come unhinged. I know in the past Primero professed having romantic feelings for his friend, but he swears up and down that they are just friends. His friend is a user; he does not reciprocate in the friendship as I know my friends do. Rather, this young man is always needing something from Primero; a ride, food, shelter, someone to talk to about his issues, help fixing his romantic relationship. Primero eagerly provides these things, only he doesn’t really, I do. Primero doesn’t pay for the gas to run his friend around, he doesn’t pay for the food, he doesn’t provide shelter, all of these things come from my pocket, thus the reason I’ve put the kibosh on the whole deal. And, since Primero can no longer provide for his friend he sees the friendship waning. Just the other night he thought I would be ok with him waking up at 3 am every morning to drive his friend to work over 30 minutes away. Um no. But, he will pay! Yeah, I’ve heard that before and he never ponied up the cash, so no. Not to mention that Primero has the shittiest attitude about school and is failing several classes and doesn’t care, so no. Just no. Last night Primero was angry because I wouldn’t allow him to have his friend over while the little ones and I attended the foster care banquet at CHOR. No, I don’t want this kid around, not at all. I want my Primero back, I want my son who has turned into this monster because I won’t play along with his friends exploitation. I don’t know how to get Primero to see that this young man is not a true friend. He readily admits that his friend uses him and he’s ok with it. He wants to be needed by this friend. I keep hoping if I keep the friend at arm’s length he will find someone else to exploit. I feel like a rotten mom for allowing this young man to gain such a hold over my son, but at the same time Primero is implicit in allowing it to continue.  I keep hoping it will all soon end. Fingers crossed.