Give Grace Today

The concept of Mother’s Day is lovely – a day set aside to recognize Mom for all she does in the lives of her children and family. It is a very nice gesture and at face value one would be hard-pressed to find any fault in this line of thinking. Except…. It’s exclusionary.

 

Mother’s Day is a hard day if…..

 

                …. You have lost your mother and spend the day wishing she were here to take to brunch or give her a card, or at the very least a hug

                …. You have a rocky relationship with your mother and find it hard to celebrate or are estranged and not connecting at all

                …. You are infertile and the simple act of becoming a mother alludes you, leaving you in the murky limbo world wondering if….

                …. You are a mother who is not with her children, either by choice or by force, the day will leave you aching for what could have been

                …. You are not with your biological mother and struggle to connect to the woman who is now parenting you or perhaps find it difficult to walk the fine line between your two mothers feeling like any choice you make will make one or both of them unhappy

                …. You wanted so badly to be a mother but life had other plans and so you are living without the child(ren) you thought you would have

                …. You have experienced the loss of a child or pregnancy miscarriage

                …. You live far away from your mother and won’t be able to see her on this day (or your children live very far away from you and won’t be able to see you on this day)

                …. You are a single father (or two fathers) and finding a way to make this day relevant for your children can be challenging        

 

So, for me Mother’s Day is a day I just need to give grace. Grace to myself for feeling so many negative things. Grace to my mom for all the things. Grace to my kids – one who finds it a hard day and two who are too little to know. Grace to all the well-wishers chirping a “Happy Mother’s Day” and not knowing the baggage that it holds. Grace to the advertisements (why has this years theme been finding a way to make mom cry? Why must Mom cry?) touting their wares as a way into Mom’s heart and good graces. Grace to the other women out there struggling with this same day. I hope everyone is able to find the space to grieve what they need to grieve, leave what they need to leave, and be thankful for the joys great and small.