Am I Raising a Brat?

Do I baby Love Bug too much? Do I cave into his tyrannical demands too regularly? Am I raising a spoiled brat? Or is Love Bug just a sensitive little guy who has a greater need for coddling and being reassured that he is safe? Does he make demands because he fears I will leave him, just as his first mommy did at the hospital (well, she didn’t leave, but he was taken from her)? Did I make him a momma’s boy? Primero, in all his 17 years of wisdom, thinks I baby Love Bug too much and that’s why he acts the way he does, wailing for things he wants or to be held. Spoiler, he wants to be held all. the. time. Lately at daycare Love Bug has been resisting letting go of me when I am dropping him off in the mornings. He clings to me, holding on to my neck with all the strength in his arms. If I manage to pry his arms off of me and set him down, he crumbles to the floor wailing dejectedly and will try to grab into my legs. He does ok if I can hand him off to one of the teachers, but this sudden regression when separating from me is peculiar. I don’t know what prompted it. He likes daycare, he likes his friends and his teachers. At night when I am tucking him into bed he wraps his arm around my neck and shoves his fist in my hair, pulling my face to his cheek. He won’t let me go until he is almost asleep, so I have to kneel beside his bed until he releases me. Love Bug makes demands, just like any toddler. When he gets angry because I don’t give him what he wants, he throws things. Usually, once he’s tossed a few things he screams and cries for a bit and then comes to be to be comforted.

 

Sometimes his attachment is endearing. Like when I leave briefly and Primero is watching him and Chica Marie. When I come home, Love Bug takes me by the hand and directs me to sit down on the couch so he can climb in my lap and snuggle. He babbles to me about random things, like having pizza for lunch and playing outside at daycare. If I happen to have my phone to check unimportant things, he tells me to “put” my phone off so he has my undivided attention. Intuitively, he knows when I am coming to get him at daycare, telling the staff his mommy is there for him. He delights seeing me and jumping into my arms to give me a hug and get a kiss on his cheek. He is most affectionate with me and then with Primero. But, he gives hugs to other people, like case workers and Sunday school teachers.

 

I sometimes think Primero expresses exasperation with me regarding Love Bug because he wishes he had someone to dote on him when he was little. He had his aunt, but that ended too soon and he became the child most likely to draw the ire of his mother. Still, I worry that I love Love Bug too much, I’m smothering or coddling him too much. I worry I’m spoiling him. He’s my baby and for that reason I have a soft spot in my heart for him, versus the older two. I don’t have those snuggly baby memories with Chica Marie and Primero that I have with Love Bug. I don’t think I love him more than the older two, just differently, maybe more comfortably. So many times I have wished to have the same baby experiences with Chica Marie, thinking those memories would help me through the trying times we’ve had. I don’t’ know. I probably over-think a lot of things.