Girls Trip

Last night I had a girl’s night out with my friend and some of her friends. It was a great event hosted by a local movie theatre. They offered a movie ticket, glass souvenir full of yummy sangria, a mini cupcake, and a small dish of ice cream for only $18. How can you pass that up? So, I met my friend there and we imbibed a bit before the movie started. The movie showing was “Girls Trip,” which I had not heard of prior to going to see it. There will probably be spoilers from here on out, so stop reading if you don’t want to know pieces of the movie.

 

First of all, the movie was on the raunchy side with plenty of drunken shenanigans and colorful language. So, there’s that. The gist of the movie is that 4 bff’s lost touch and were reuniting on a girls trip to New Orleans to celebrate one of the women’s successful self-help romance book about having it all. The author, Ryan, is married to a gorgeous man and supposedly they have the perfect life together. But, as the movie progresses it is clear their marriage is a sham and just a front to garner publicity and secure a lucrative deal loosely based on the theme of the book. At one point, early in the movie, Ryan and her husband Stewart are being interviewed and they are asked when they might start a family. Ryan laughed and said it might happen anytime, or something along those lines. Later, she is having a conversation with one of her friends, the only one of the four who had children, and she said she was more focused on her career. Her friend admonished her for waiting so long and begged her to stop waiting. It isn’t until the last quarter of the movie, when it is revealed the unfaithful husband had gotten his mistress pregnant, that Ryan reveals her battle with infertility. And, she admits, it was this struggle that caused her to lose touch with her friends. The infertility reveal scene was short but it at once made me see the previous scenes of the movie differently. I’m not sure of those nuances would be noticeable to anyone who hasn’t faced their own battle with infertility, but they were glaringly evident to me.

 

I felt the pain of the character when she lamented, “She gave him the one thing I cannot – a baby.” I felt the deep sense of guilt and unworthiness wash over me when she uttered those words. My unfaithful husband didn’t get anyone pregnant while we were still together (at least not that I know of) but he did recently become a father and that cut me deep. To make matters worse, the paparazzi released a photo of Ryan’s husband and his lover in a compromising pose just before she was slated to deliver the keynote speech at a big convention. I didn’t have to face a convention hall of people, but I distinctly remember a phone call from someone warning me of my husband’s infidelities. I had a burning sensation in my stomach and the heat of embarrassment washed over me leaving a cold sweat. Being cheated on is not a good feeling. I cannot fathom the pain it must feel to know not only the pain of the broken trust but also the soul-breaking feeling of worthlessness and shame of barrenness. It takes a strong person to find their footing after those double whammy’s.

 

I didn’t know anything about this movie before I saw it, but even if I had seen previews, I doubt this is the scene they would have shown. The movie is labeled a comedy, but I sensed this thread of sadness, I saw the unspoken pain. I was struck again by the prolific ways infertility affects our lives. Would Ryan have been so career-driven if she had been able to get pregnant? Would she have lost touch with her friends if she hadn’t been ashamed to share her burden of infertility? The movie ended without really addressing what Ryan might do regarding her infertility. She ended up with a new, nicer beau so there were possibilities for them to pursue, or not. I’m sure only my fellow infertile sisters were even questioning the characters future, I’m sure most assumed she would magically get pregnant with her new man, if they thought of it at all. I left the movie with a sense of sadness. I went home to my babies and infinitely glad I had them to cuddle before tucking them into bed. The ghost of infertility might still haunt me but I’m doing my best to stay in the present.  

 

I don’t know if I would recommend the movie. There is a nice women stick together theme and the friendships feel real because the actresses do a good job. The sexual jokes were not really my cup of tea and there were some scenes that were not for the faint of heart (full frontal of an old man, anyone?) not to mention the language. The realness of what Ryan endured with her husband, his persuasion, covering his infidelities and not changing, her desire for perfection – all of these things felt familiar to me, but not really in a good way. I think if you have never dealt with infertility and find dirty humor hilarious, it would be a good movie to see with some girlfriends.